hallucination,obscene and teens

when i opened my eyes, light sparkled ,, the dream was terminated ,,a sunset had passed
.....eye lashes got inspired by magnetism of virtuality........

light sparkled,,,,the dream that was terminated.....
the clock that got killed..........
subconscious that got inspired by magnetism of nothingness.....

where are you now ?.....
who cares about past......
light processed....
the dream that had to be terminated........
a moment that had to be killed........
a dawn that never had any inspiration from sun,,,,

who cares where we are and how much time had passed,,,
where are you now?..........i stand alone!!
the dream that never had any termination,,,,
the clock that never existed,,
sun that never waked me up......

when i opened my eyes,,that was another dream....iris illuminated...illuminated
tears........body light as helium....closer i get ...faster beats my heart....
cold lachrymals...frozen heart,,,,,
but who cares ? cause she never cared.........
ima lying on waters.........but who is drowning.........
closer i get .........more beautiful you are,,,,,,

living on pills when i injected it,,it uses my subconscious to express itself....
i have only half answers...........
what is right and what is wrong........i dont care about

getting into black thing.........when i opened my eyes,,,,,,,that was another dream
....faint but dreaming.....believing the lie,,,,crucified by the truth,,,,
forced by lust ,,,,mastrubation a self abuse,,,,
i continue travelling towards faith that i embrace..............
what is right and what is wrong????.....who cares..
because i have only half answers......

a state between falling
and flying
between imagination
and idea
between apocalypse
and prophecy
between conspiracy
and tragedy
between colors
and emotions
between fire and infernal
between initiating
and healing
between shaping and visualizing...........
because i have only half answers for intention and half for consequences
dont what is right and what is wrong......i closed my eyes
...that was another dream....




walking along the streets,,leaning against walls,,,squatting outside shops,,,
travelling in buses,,,but destination unknown,,,broken rubber banded cell phones
are so appealing,,,we stop only for art,,in search of ambience we walk alone,,
we are freak,, we are creative,,we try weird makeovers,,we are pretty,,,we burn at
zero celsius,,,we are harlots ,, we are tyrrants,,,we love intricasy,,we get distracted,,,astrology decides us ,,,night life attract us,,love life we suck at,,,
dad's money we dont give a damn,,,best artists we save for,,hi life we pay for,,
we are harlots but then also we are glamorous,,,we are TEENS....but then also...................

i ingested that again.....that thing had a spirit or soul.........walls clashed,,,subconscious collapsed

...eyes wide open,,,,,compelled by inactivity,,,,eyes swollen,,,cursing my sins,,,,attacked by insanity,,,,,skinny,,,peoples staring,,i asked for rose and poison..........

" you never loved me darling

this will keep us together

a taste of poison and blood

death is all love has...

when sun shine it hurts

at every sunset my sins are forgiven...

you always thought i am lunatic

i still love your skin even it's used

darling that rose is for my grave

rest of poison is for you........

you see i am not mad....
my arms is waiting for you "

3 IDIOTS

The title may head your brains 2wards the chetan bhagat's "5 . someone"..but dis post aint composed for novel's publicity nor film's..but yeah it may have some significance associated to my likes and dislikes..........
chetan bhagat is a good writer... ofcourse is better than JK rowling's harry potter series.......man!!!! both bollyfilms and harry potter are poison 4 a creative mind........one being too fancy to be real and another being too childish to be unreal
now 4 all harry potter lovers ....i am sorry cause i dont get carried away....
and for all harry potter haters ......PUT AN UMBRELLA IN ROWLING'S ARS AND ...OPEN IT !!!!.......

my hate 4 bolly films (some movies are good) actually started with the film "RUDRAKSH"....
DAMN..that movie.....or what a movie......whose great mind was behind such an explosion ???......... i wanna meet that bloke and want to work as
his slave 4 rest of my life....hehehe........i mean it require guts to release such a film...........anyways back to chetan bhagat

Bloke had sex wid his HOD"S daughter...i am not sure if my HOD Is also havin any daughter or not but some one told me that his wife left him.....(really lucky).........now i am also havin some bittersweet relationship wid my HOD.......he is a molester.......
My HOD namely mr giri (best among faculties) if i remember once he caught me for long hair,loose Tshirts,long beard........and thank god i wasnt havin lip pierced at that time........
he was starin me like if i was the one 4 which his wife left him.......
he came nearer and started giving me lectures on personality and punctuality........... when he asked my course ..i told him "MBA"..........(4 those who dont know .. ..i am a B.TECH student)..........
now he recognizes me as M.B.A guy.......(i am in trouble ........hey i saved Giri's life he shud be thank ful to me )
HEY...in some way i saved his life ........like if i would have told him tht i belong to his branch and course.....than he would have died of heart failure or something (person like me must have been his wierdest nightmares).....i have seen Giri's students they are like "being neglected from outer world" or..they are just............"SIMPLE"......holy shit!!!!.
donno what's gonna happen as almost 1st year is going to end.....& got to face that monster next year.........what i 'll do then??????
hmmmmmmmmmm........... i 'lll say "SURPRISE"..............
or i 'll say.....last night some aliens came and granted me with a wish...and i demanded to be an engineering student instead of M.B.A
so here I am...........
or most funniest i 'll use fake teeths like in JODHI NO.1 ........hehehe

see....it's just trouble follows me.......
it has always been my priority to treat teacher's as my friend........sharing things,,counselling each other,respect 4 each other's sentiments...........................OR................saying "aur saale ! kya haal hai"....slapping their butts,,,asking them"aur kya khayega hafshi".......and asking them money " sau rupay udhaar diyo be ".........OR ...inventing some ugly sounds wid them................haaaaaaah... let's hope

you know guys from tommorow my internal exams are starting....and i don't even know the name of my subjects .........me being nocturnal ...studies at night.......yesterdays's night i had wasted in attending palash sen performing in G.T.B.H........
I HATE PALASH SEN AND HIS GROUP..........that isnt my taste......his music stinks...............
nothing like good music was there...........but wanna tell you energy was full on there.........(that is the great thing about indian crowd).......
drunked students with cigarettes in their hands...........they made the whole enviroment ..stinky ,,smoky,,and messy....(foolish doctors)........

PALASH SEN wid his square ars chumps... trying everything from "another brick in the wall......to......... humpty dumpty"...(sucks big time)......but......that was his college once..........senior performing in front of their juniors......that was the place where his career started........i knew there will be some different AURA.............

i know this post is mediocre among the level.......

those who know me.......must be thinkin i,ve gone mad .....as..there wasnt any sky gravity concepts of invisible reality,................but still there is a limitation that " IN THE END ,,,,,,,,WE'LL REMAIN HUMANS ONLY" and that dry tree in the picture has got all the answers.....

So,,,..........these were 3 idiots.......(mr giri,,palash sir.......hey who is the third one??????)))

nite : life 01

((sparkles and red purplish shade....,,then reflection of flashes of white light.........some color paints,,,swim-suit,,black sunglasses at night,,,taste of lemonade...and most important hypnotic scent...and dark lipsticks.....hhmmm .....golden outlines too))

oh man .......i completed the puzzle AT-LAST.....

so the whole concept was .............temptations .......isnt it?

may be more towards seduction......... or......... excitingly appealing towards being sexy............

."SEDUCTION" is a trance state......&.... scents can take us to the infinitely small trance state............

....have you ever tasted pefumes and lipsticks rather than wearing them???

i mean to say.......... how much you know about your accessories?

now i had mixed various perfumes wid each other...and then.......... tasted there aroma...few days back

and i was able to distinguish between them........

maybe the thing is each aroma has it's own quality and emotional influences..

and emotions may have certain physiological variations(feelings)........

and i believe feelings can be easily separated..............

i can probably say "SEDUCTION" is derived from "GLAMOUR"

.....& some peoples have wrong perception of "SEDUCTION"

quality of MAGIK,,alluring,,attracting,,excitment.......that's wot "GLAMOUR" is,,,and................. "NITE:LIFE" rules it

glimpsing night was ruling the sky.......i looked at my watch......10:00 am......okkkkkk......

WWHHAATT!!..i shaked my watch....& i realised my watch's disability.........hehehe

i gave a look around...to see if some one was watching me...........

and found nothing but some foreigners,,, a bar reflecting some bright colours,,and a coffee cup that was kicked by me.............man the beverage was .......yucky

"hey lovish,,how can you drink that s***"...now lovish was still on his coffee

"it's fine..man..."

"what's fine.....let me see"......i tasted the coffee again.......now the coffee was incredible in taste....

"is it the same coffee"......i asked

"yes i believe"...

DUHHHH.......man how can they do that to me .....i got that s*** to drink.......

i recapitulated the whole thing

****************************************

it was almost 11:30...........and we were in the only coffee shop that was still open at dat time....The cafe coffee day................now we had tried almost whole of the menu ...but there was still something undone.. "irish coffee"....

we read the description....(a taste of black cofee with cream and wine).....

"sounds interesting"..........i said

"if you can get us 2 irish coffees ?? "...lovish said....

the man at counter was busy (not that busy) wid a lady..............and couldnt get us.........

"airish caaffee sir minaat thoo ".........man at the counter said.....

what he said juss now........... i looked at lovish & ofcourse he was lookin at me

hahah....i mean......that man was giving expressions that he is a doctor in english lingo.....& "sir" was the only correct pronounciation.............

"eeyou airish caffeee ?".......he exclaimed again.................

now i thought to extract some fun outtta it....

"i & me friend coffee irish ..drink...".....i replied..............hahahahaa

lovish knew what i was upto,,,,,but not other peoples at the counter...they were looking at me..................

and the appreciable thing .... that man was able to UNDERSTAND ME....he was a genius.......

now people der must be thinking ........"hum dono ek hi gaon ke hai"......hehehe

"ok sir thoo airish caaffeee doorriiinkk".......he said again....

and at last we were there with the coffeee.....

"note how many??"...i asked .............hahahahaha.......

we gave the money..and stepped out....

and kicked that coffeee soon after completion of my process of tasting it.....

mann!!! disgusting taste it had

****************************************

i mean... god was taking revenge for ma action of making fun of that NERD!!!....

now going contrary to the silent lucidity of night...........we entered into the collection of boys and gals...(all of them were teenagers)......and i saw more crowd heading toward us........

we were in front of a bar.....

smoke was the flavour there.....bar was reflecting some random bright colours,,,,,,there was a gorgeus aura generated from those teenagers....many of the teenagers were havin punk dressin sense,,,,few were in simple make overs but were lookin attractive,,,,

i saw few gals wid dark eye shades & black nail paints were smokin (may be tryin 4 first time)

they realised that i was lookin steadily at them....they offered me a cigratte

"i and me friend cigratte no" .........i said

..........now what to say ......i slapped myself..........and corrected.......

"thank you " i said ... taking tht cigarette.........(donno why i said "yes" to the thing)

.......(hey ........ i dont do drugs)..........

juss wanna tell you that "GLAMOUR GROWS ON YOU" may be thats why i didnt denied that cigratte..........

but the gal who had offered me addiction was really pretty...............

i was dreaming that if i got married to her than we'll both teach our kids "HOW TO SMOKE CIGARETTES???"

anyways....i continued staring at her sight like a fool.................

now it was almost 2:30 in the morning.....lovish was getting late....has to return goa that moring only...............
i hugged lovish tightly.......
"man! see ya... 5 months later".....lovish said......


In the morning .....again late 4 college......
on the way (thinking of today's excuse).......i donno from where a small boy came & stood in front of me ....."bhaiya kuchhh paise de do"...
i checked my pockets ........ wasnt having any change at that time.... but that yesterday's cigarette was still wid me.....


& i gave it to that small kid......(le beta aish kar).....HOW KIND I AM.....hehehe.


............completed ma college........and in the evening again went to ...........

i donno what magnetism pulled me back there.............

(let's see that girl.......what i she trying??)
.......she was checking silver ear rings....

.....her magenta nail paints......a sweet tempting aroma ...........mixed with her spicy female voice ......"bhaiya yeh kitne ka hai".....(to the seller).......that blew me away......hehehe

NIGHT is blessed wid a sable identity.............(but for me it is comprises of most beautiful colours)...................

Designer shops,,long hair,,fashion stairs,,smoke,,teasing,,hot gals,,kinky hair,,BARS,,slangs & taffy comments,,models,,leather shoes.....with the shade of moon..............

was a fascinating thing to look at.............

(you may call it "I AM CRAZYYYYY"........but there is no other way to feel "FASHION" )

VISIONS.

Have you ever had a thought......... to drown in your lover's eyes............i know.. many of you must be havin.........now whats special in this " organ of sight ".......if this thing is having any associaivity with " DEPTH " ?.... may be it has................cause it takes time to get out of it ......if you like to drown.......( lover knows it well)

hey ..we can all visualize our past.......that means "present can visualize past"...........now of course "future can visualize present"..........we may say...it,s future who is eager.....it,s future which always call us....may be.....THATS WHY SOME PEOPLES CAN SEE FUTURE...........or we experience "DEJAVOOO"........

huh...............i donno know how easily these "" VISIONS "" can trip us

........" VISION " is a mental image produced by the imagination.

Today((not posted date))again i was late for college....("reaching late at places now has become an integral part of my life").....a teacher too had commented on me.....(late ana to inke vyaktitva mein likha hai).....hehehe.........and running short of time ...i stepped into the bus ......a girl was sitting in frnt of me ...(now from mah side she was gorgeus)....she started staring me....but i didnt (this "ATTITUDE" has ruined mah life..)..........now afta that she put on her sunglasses.....now what the hell....THAT WAS A RAINY DAY,,,NO SUNRAYS AT ALL.....now i started staring her....(may be from her side)....... but i was actually looking at her sunglasses...wanted to read the brand's name...(STUPID ME!!!!).....
than i stepped out of the bus ........ i recalculated whole thing..... NO SUN....ALL RAINY.....and sunglasses???...(now it wasnt 4 saving her make up from rain drops..cause windows were closed)
.........now the thing came into my mind ((those sunglasses were more of a x-ray instrument to see poeple "NAKED"......WHATT !!! she saw me naked........))........NEXT I thought of record button inside that instrument........
.................public nudity????........such an unstable judgement....hahahaha

and then came the decent thought ((juss leave that to her,,,why am i caring))....and that was more toward real world....

"ORGAN of SIGHT".....((EYES))...what a magnificent architecture.....a centre of light,emotions,influence,intelligence, helps in distinguishing between girls.......(now i will go 4 beautiful one's)....lollzzzzz....and also scares some time........yes i am talking about photos of the peoples who are dead.....right on the wall......staring others with wierd expressions...........

if i remember...... me and my few friends were out of town................. to spend night out we took a room 4 rent....

now that room was more of a haunted place......broken windows for the entries of nocturnals.....a big hole in the door 4 beasts to see us.......and straight on the top a very mysterious photo......of CHIMAN LAL....hahahaha......I was almost in tears(laughing) when i heard the name "CHIMAN LAL"..now that photograph was mysterious .....he was half laughing.....and half crying....(like he won a lottary ticket ...and when he looked carefully that was his electricity bill..............hahaha)......but there was still some thing unnatural there...... his eye's expressions were untold,,, there was hidden something in them....well at that tym i wanted to enjoy wid ma frenz so i thought not give this thing a thought........... then in middle of nite we started makin stories of dis .......so called CHIMAN LAL....like( in his age he was a super stud,,,,,,,i exclaimed what comics he must be fond of " bansi lal and pyara bunny".....and we also made his gay relations...)........we laughed whole night...and donno when that sleep took us along to dream mode...........& to add more...................(( in morning one of the friend told us that " he saw chiman lal's photo smoking beedhi "))........hahahha...........
i know it wasnt true at all... but that was may be his fear ,,,the " VISIONS " played the game again....
let me take you back to those "KATHAKALI PLAYS"......... how beautifuly they do their job......they devote their whole life to art ...........and they take pains too.......i saw a character putting a small stone in his eyes..so that his eye can obtain red colour ......to give natural effects............(brilliant!!!!)...
these masters can make us believe what they wan....they get inside and effects our imagination ...and they produce a mental image.........thats why those expressions,,,faces..still revoloves around me.....that what " VISION " is.......
.............. and we will always be captured by this..................................

inexpressible ( INTRO.)

now i have been infected by all kinda deranged stuff lyk... emotions,,,,psylogics(you may call it havin psychedelic virtues of life).,,sometimes lyk to have a gothic identity
..,,questions involving shiva's appearances... nataraja's postures ...budhha's silence and hell lot of art reciding inside my head..................

" shiva's appearance"............ what a creature.....now, people only know him because he is a"" god of destruction""...and they pray him....
....but it,s morethan that. i pray too.....but there is still a magentism by which i often gets attracted to him.....dont know whats it..........
..is that the elevation of my imagination....if it is........then why am i pretending ?



but thing i know....... shiva created hashish.... (enhances psychoactivations)...i mean what kinda man.......behind all those drug creations....but then that "tandava"..symbolises uniqueness in agression...and most part when i listen to some musicians involve "shiv odysseys" in their sounds.....i have seen priests...
........ monks..half painted in orange.......braided hair..( hehe..there was a time when i used to get scare of them)......but they now inspires me......

((oh puhleez i'm not telling i got inspirations to live my whole life naked and search for truth of life)).................but that is something I would lyk to call as "INEXPRESSIBLE"....



Inexpressible............. is it a right word..........."expressions that cant be expressed"...........our language is limited mann.......it doesnt provide us wid this facility.....how weak we humans are !!!
or "INVISIBLE" ...would be right ....
but expressions are visible................

but if i talk about expressions i get carried away by those "kathakali plays"...oh man that demon...that make up ....that gesture....& ofcourse those body movements and face EXPRESSIONS.......man!!! what a peice of art, how easily they can EXPRESS .................huh paradox........... sumtimes EXPRESSIBLE and sumtimes..................
may be expressions come into play wid whole set up.............

WHO WE ARE ?????

rather who am i ??..........i like to burn in SILENCE.........it,s a very crowdy place.......
& sometimes it shouts at me......thousands of thoughts and helix of perceptions that will always remain with me.......but i love them all .....cause they are the only things THAT I HAVE.......
..... and they are .......................hmmmmm..........BEYOND VISIBLE .........

why am i embracing this.... silence ........cause i want this world to move faster than it,s usual ?????